Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Some Soul Searching and Aura Repair Tea

So you may have noticed I kind of disappeared off the face of the planet there for a while. Well, things have been less than perfect in my life lately, and by less than perfect I mean that I feel like my whole world just came crashing down. My husband, the man I love and admire above all else, woke up one morning and didn't want to the married anymore. We started therapy, but I believe he is set in his choice to leave. I can't even begin to explain how broken I feel right now and how terrified I am. I'm losing my best friend and partner along with my home. I am struggling to figure out how I am going to manage on my own. Its honestly looking very grim.

With all the stress and anxiety I have caught every illness under the sun. Last week I was running a serious fever and today my throat feels raw from coughing and hacking on drainage. It has been awful to say the least. However, this morning I woke up knowing I needed to make changes.

I very much believe in my horoscope. In fact, it is almost always completely dead on. I don't do the dailies because its just too much, but I love the yearly and monthly horoscopes. It allows me to plan out my year and this past year I was glad I listened. It foretold of a financial problem in the middle of the year and sure enough my husband lost his job. Thankfully I had prepared and we made it out alright. Well I haven't looked at what it has had to say over the past couple of months so I decided to see how the rest of December is supposed to go. Well, what it had to say was powerful.
"Tension in your personal affairs could ratchet up around December 15. This intensity has been brewing since 2012, when these two cosmic heavy-hitters started their tug o’ war—and it will continue until mid-March 2015."

Wow...So Monday night is when things began to get worse and this intensity began in December of 2012.
"Instead of throwing up your hands and not deciding, it’s important to go deep into your roots—where does your background impede you from living your best, healthiest life? You are extra-sensitive to metaphysical and subtle energies, so before you lash out or make a drastic move to amputate someone from your life, look within. As St. Francis wisely said, “You are that which you seek.” You don’t need the seal of approval from a relationship or relative to drawn upon your enormous wellspring of power. You CAN have what you want. The first step is to shut out external chatter and figure that one out for yourself. No one else knows, except you. Take back your agency, your heart, your soul. The next four weeks, reconnect with your past and your childhood; in this nostalgia, you can find gems about who you really are—and what you truly desire."
When I read this I broke down in tears. I needed to hear that I CAN have what I want and that I need to dig deep to decide what I really want from my life and from my relationship. I need to do some serious soul searching. Do I want to save this marriage or let him walk away? I don't have the answer yet, but I plan on meditating on it over the next few weeks.

The horoscope finished by saying I am going to start a new chapter of my life. I am so terrified, but I am trying to be strong. I start my Master's program in the middle of January, and I can only hope that goes well for me. I have reached out to many people and have friends trying to find me a signifiantly better paying job. Please send your prayers, well wishes, and thoughts my way. I really need this to come through for me.

So tonight I am taking a step back; I am going to focus on me and my needs. As a Libra I am notorious for giving to others at my own expense. I can't do it anymore, at least not right now. I am going to take a nice warm bubble bath with Bath & Bodyworks Stress Relief foam while I drink a nice hot cup of Aura Repair Tea. I let this man dampen my spirit and surpress my aura. I need to repair it.

Want to make your own Aura Repair Tea? No problem. It consists of tea leaves, rosemary, lemongrass (my favorite), hibiscus flowers (second favorite), peppermint and mugwort. Each of these herbs is known for thier calming yet uplifting nature. Sipping on this delightful infusion will calm the spirit and repair an aura. This is especially great for after intense spell work or times of great stress. I added a bit of honey to sweeten it and soothe my very raw throat.

I plan on being around more in the upcoming weeks. Ignoring my spiritual path during these trying times is one of the worst things I can do, especially when I have such a wonderful outlet here.

Thank you for all of your support.

4 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. Although my divorce situation was different, I too was having a difficult financial time, had to move, etc. It was hard for sure, but it changed EVERYTHING in my life and I became so much stronger and met some very important people. I look back now and I am glad I'm not still there, but I wouldn't change a thing because it brought me to where I am. Hang in and stay strong. I'm glad you are still here - online groups were a godsend to me then.......

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    1. Thank you for the support! I can already feel myself getting stronger. It just hurts so much to love another person more than they love you. I've given everything to him and I feel like it just isn't enough. He only ever sees the bad in things and believes that nothing will ever change. Things change everyday. I just don't know what to do...

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  2. I'm so sorry for your troubles, change is never an easy thing, especially something like this. I wish all the best for you. Perhaps a little spellwork to make the transition easier (finding accomodation, job etc) is in order. Keep going and stay strong, I think everything will work out the best for you.

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    1. Thank you for the support! I plan on doing some work as soon as I am better. I have been sick nonstop since he told me he wasnted a divorce. I don't feel strong enough to perform any magic and that is depressing in and of itself.

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