Just Say No Candle Spell

Telling people no is one of the things I struggle with, and I know I'm not the only one. Part of it comes from being a people-pleaser, as many Libras are. I enjoy making others happy, and I'm also extremely competitive, so when I see an opportunity to get ahead, I often jump on it, even if it isn't something I can actually manage at the time. This simple spell is designed to help you find your voice and say no when you need to. No in and of itself is some pretty powerful magic and knowing when to say no is freeing. You are not obligated, at any point, to say yes to anyone, especially if you are already hesitant to do so.

What You'll Need

• Blue candle
• Black candle
• Sodalite
• Black Tourmaline
• Two strips of paper
• Pen
• Firesafe dish
  
  

What to Do

This spell can be performed on the Full or New Moon.

As always, feel free to cleanse your items and charge them if you feel inclined. You may also cast a circle, call quarters, and ask for any divine assistance before beginning this spell. I didn't do any of these for this particular spell, except cleansing the items before use.

When you are ready, sit the blue candle on the left and the black candle on the right. Light both candles at the same time. While the candles are burning, hold the sodalite in your hand and begin charging it with your intent: to increase truthful communication. Once you see it filling with blue light or it feels warm in your hand, place it in front of the blue candle. Next charge the black tourmaline with your intent: to banish your inability to say no when you need to. Note that I didn't say banish your ability to say no all the time. Saying you want to banish all unwillingness to say no all the time is potentially dangerous. Instead, you want to only say no when you need and should to keep you safe and well. When you see it filling with black light or it feels warm in your hand, place it in front of the black candle.

Next, on one strip of paper write what you want to do: Increase communication. Phrase your intent in a positive light such as "I will communicate my true feelings" or "I will openly communicate with others and say no when needed." On the next strip of paper, write what you are wishing to get rid of: you inability to say no when you need to. Again, phrase this in a positive light. "I banish my inability to say no when I should" or "I banish my inability to communicate truthfully when needed."

Finally, burn the first strip of paper about open communication in the blue candle flame and the banishment strip of paper in the black candle. As they burn, see yourself standing tall and telling others no when they ask too much of you or you are unable to fulfill the task they wish you to complete. Say aloud,

"I will openly communicate with others and banish my inability to speak truthfully and say no when needed. This is true until I ask for it to be undone. And so it is."

And that's it! You can allow the candles to burn down the strengthen the spell or snuff them out if you are short on time. Dispose of the ashes by strewing them into the wind and leave your crystals sitting out on your altar for a week or two to help remind you of your intent.

Why You Did It

Candles can be used in some of the most powerful spells, and are pretty cheap to acquire. For this spell, I went with blue and black because the spell is about communication and banishment. Blue is the color of communication as in the wind that brings messages. I'm sure you have heard the whispers carried on the first cool breeze of Fall or the first warm breeze of Spring, celebrating the changing seasons. Black is the color of banishment as it is the absence of all light. It is the ultimate remover.

Our crystals correspond with the candle color. Sodalite, being blue, is a crystal of communication. It also promotes truth and harmony, both aspects we need if we wish to openly communicate our feelings with others and say no when we need to. Black tourmaline is grounding and protective, as well as a great stone for banishment. It helps remove roadblocks that keep you from your best interest, and therefore a great crystal to use in this particular spell.

The intentions were written and burned to help release our intentions into the universe through smoke, which is representative of the element Air, and then the ashes disposed of using the wind (also element Air) to further communicate our message. Air is the element of communication and by burning and throwing your ashes into the wind, it will help carry it to the spirits that will be helping you on your journey

To break this spell, light a single white candle and say,

"I no longer wish to communicate openly with others. I ask that the spell be removed. And so it is."

And, as always, remember to record your spell in your Book of Shadows or use my spell/ritual worksheet to keep track of the spell.

What do you do to help you say no? Any nonmagical tips and tricks? Please comment below!