Sunday, August 27, 2017

Personal Update: August 2017

Hey everyone! Sooo...you may have noticed I haven't posted in a while. A lot has transpired over the past couple of weeks, some of which has been awesome and some of which has been, well, not so awesome. So, where to start?

First and foremost, my husband and I separated. After 7 years, he decided he didn't want to be with me anymore and left while I was out of town. I learned of this via text message while driving home. I would like to go on and rant and rave about everything that happened, but considering I want this divorce to go as quickly and smoothly as possible, I am going to keep my fat mouth shut for a little while longer. There is so much more involved in this situation than him just leaving, and maybe one day I will share it all with my readers. Needless to say the past couple of weeks have been incredibly stressful. I now have a mortgage, utilities, car payment, and student loan payments to make on my tiny teacher's salary. It this point in time I have no idea how I am going to make this work, but I will figure it out. I am strong and resourceful and know I will make it out of this better than before.

Despite all of this, there is some good news. My depression and anxiety are almost nonexistent. It took a couple of weeks, but boy do I feel a thousand times better. Its to the point where everyone, including friends, family, and coworkers, has noticed and commented on how much happier I am. Everyone at work has told me how much I have changed and opened up in the past couple of weeks; that I am joking and laughing whereas before I would have been sullen and complained. The best part? They've all told me how much more they like the happy, joking me. Its a great feeling to be told I am loved for who I truly am instead of being told I am being "childish" or "too much" or "overly emotional." After I got over the initial shock of Jonathan leaving, I realized what I thought was just a chemical imbalance gone horribly awry was actually brought on by the stresses of my marriage. While I recognize I still suffer from depression, my symptoms are currently within my control. I can't even begin to describe how much better I feel. I lost a 155lb weight off my shoulders, and I have never been happier. Now if only I could lose the weight around my tummy and hips! That would make my year!

Also in good news, I got a new cat. When my husband left, he took both of our cats with him, much to my dismay. Before you cry foul, you need to know he got the cats shortly before we met so technically they are his and his alone. While I was devastated to lose both of them without any warning, I know they are with who they legally belong to. My parents were worried when I first came home to an empty house and took me to get a cat a day later. It was at a Petsmart adoption that I met Oscar Wilde, a 2-year-old grey tabby who is the most loving cat you have ever met. He was a gift from the Universe in my time of need. As soon as I walked up to the cat cages I looked at Oscar and said, "That's my cat. He's leaving with me today." My mom responded by telling me to actually read his tag and look at the other cats. Of course I did, but my gut instinct is ALWAYS right. I knew Oscar was mine and he knew I was his the moment we saw each other. He is the perfect cat for me, and I am thankful everyday my mom and dad forced me to get out of bed, take a shower, and go look at the animals available. They paid the adoption fees and helped me purchase a new litter box, cat food, and some toys.




Such a handsome boy isn't he? Apart from all of this, there isn't much else to share other than I am taking classes to get my gifted endorsement, which is time consuming to say the least. I've been super busy trying to put my life back together, at least financially, and just haven't felt like blogging. I've come home and watched The Office or hung out with friends. Not to worry though, I always come crawling back to this baby. I have a Nova Luna box review to post and my Lammas altar to show you guys. Hopefully I will get them out soon.

PS: I am still working on getting all the old posts up and running after the server stopped hosting my images. I promise I will get everything working soon!


11 comments:

  1. Sorry to hear about the separation. Sending love to you. :)

    That's good that you've been feeling better in yourself. I have depression and anxiety so I know what it's like. Oscar Wilde is lovely!

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    1. Thank you! It is amazing what happens when you figure out the source of the depression and anxiety. I didn't think my marriage was causing such a strain on my mental health. I wish you the best of luck in dealing with yours!

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  2. Oh, Willow!! I'm so sorry to hear about this. What an awful, abrupt way to end things. Take all the time away that you need, I can't even imagine how tough this must have been for you <3

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    1. Oh, it only published half my comment! I went on to say, I'm so glad that you have happy and productive things to occupy your time, and Oscar Wilde is a gorgeous cat! Sending so much love your way :)

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    2. :) Thank you! It has been trying to say the least, but I am thankful everything else in my life has remained steady and calm.

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  3. Isn't it amazing how much subtle damage a poor marriage can do? My own went rather badly and sunk me into a depression that I didn't notice until years into it. I also felt much better almost immediately after the separation. So much so that it really put the relationship into perspective. I still struggle with depression - I might be prone to it the rest of my life - but I've grown into a stronger person better able to manage my ups and downs. I wish you the time and space to get on your feet as well!

    So glad you found a cat to love, too. Our furry friends make life so much more bearable. :)

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    1. Thank you! I didn't realize how bad things were until he left either. I tried for so long to hold on, to find that happiness we felt when we first got together, but both of us had changed so much. There was no going back to what was. I feel like I can breathe again. Its a wonderful feeling, even if things are tough. I am glad you are feeling better as well. :)

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  4. Ouch! Sorry to hear of such up-heave. It does sound like you're handling it like a boss, though! ;) And Oscar Wilde looks like such a sweet little companion to help you in your healing! Sending you lots of love! ♥

    ...Oh my goodness the tie! I can't handle the bow tie!!

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    1. I love his bow tie too. Such a fetching young man. :D

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