When Autumn Leaves Fall: A Seasonal Ritual for Release

The last two years of my life have been marked by significant loss. In December of 2024, I mentioned losing someone deeply important to me, and this past March I lost someone else. I have been cagey about who has passed because an ex was using my blog and its posts as a way to try to stay in my life, and I didn't want him to be able to use any information against me. Thankfully, I believe he has finally moved on with his life, and therefore I feel comfortable opening up about what I have experienced.

On the night of December 15th, 2024, my father suffered a major cardiac event. Almost 48 hours later, we made the incredibly difficult decision to take him off life support, and he passed less than a minute later on December 17th. I never thought I would be saying goodbye to my hero at just 36 years old, especially considering my grandparents all lived well into their 80s and his mother is still alive. I thought I had at least 20 years left. My family is marked by long, generally healthy lives, so my father suffering a heart attack was completely out of left field and left everyone in the family reeling. My father is and was my hero; he was always my biggest supporter and an honest, hardworking man who loved my mother and his children endlessly.

This past March, my beloved cat Oscar unexpectedly suffered a medical event (one the vets still cannot explain), and he passed in my arms. I felt like my father had died all over again. When I went through a nasty divorce in 2017, my dad took me that same weekend my ex-husband walked out on me to get a cat so I "wouldn't be alone." That cat was Oscar, who was one of the sweetest, most beloved cat I have ever owned. His sudden passing rocked my family just as deeply as the loss of my father, and left my friends and the vet staff heartbroken as well.

Navigating this sense of extreme loss has not been easy, even with performing my Ritual to Release Grief a year and a half ago (which worked wonders until Oscar passed). There are a lot of days I sit in my car after work and just cry because I know that when I walk into my house, Oscar will not be there to greet me at the stairs. When something goes wrong, like the hot water heater unexpectedly breaking in May, I cannot call my dad to help me fix the issue. With as much spirit work as I do, you think I would be able to handle this grief with grace, but I have completely blocked out all but a few spirits for almost two years. I no longer dream like I used to; spirits no longer show up at my door; even my guides have remained mostly quiet, giving me the space I requested.

Recently, everything came to a head when I ended up in Urgent Care, followed by the Emergency Room, with my blood pressure through the roof and an anxiety attack that is still plaguing me as I write this post over a week later. I realized it is time to release this grief, anxiety, and negative thought patterns I have been carrying around with me. To release these emotions is not to love my dad or Oscar any less, nor is it an admission that my anxiety is unfounded. Suffering as I have is doing no one any good, and it won't bring either of them back nor change the outcome of certain events.

This ritual is about letting go, which is perfect for this season when the trees shed their leaves and rest until spring. Why not take advantage of this opportunity to do the same? While you may not have any grief to let go of, there is certainly something you can release. I have written this ritual to be open-ended enough to apply to any situation you find yourself in and encourage you to modify as needed. Use it to release bad habits, old relationships, or anything else that no longer serves you. Heck, combine it with cleaning out your clothes closet, which I am also doing in conjunction with this ritual, to make room for new beginnings. This is an opportunity to enter into winter free from what no longer serves us so we may rest and rejuvenate before being reborn in the spring.

What You'll Need

• Fallen leaf or piece of paper for each item you are releasing
• Writing utensil
• Obsidian, rose quartz, and aquamarine
• Optional: Black, white, or blue candle; match/lighter, journal

What to Do

This ritual is best performed during the waning or dark moon. Begin by cleansing and consecrating your space and objects using your preferred method. If you wish, cast a circle, call quarters, and invite any deities, spirits, or ancestors you want to witness or assist in your ritual.

If using a candle, light the candle and sit comfortably. Take a deep breath in through your nose for 4 seconds, hold for 4, then breathe out slowly for 4 seconds. As you repeat this breathing exercise 3 to 5 times, visualize yourself connecting with the earth below you and your energies concentrating in your center. 

When you are sufficiently relaxed, grounded, and centered, begin reflecting upon the changing seasons, how the leaves have begun to change color and fall, the nights are growing longer, and the days are getting cooler. Think about the signs of decay you see occurring around you, especially if you are using leaves for this ritual. Reflect on the leaves' changing role in the ecosystem, how they began as a place of photosynthesis and food production for the tree and ended as nourishment for the soil and a wintering location for insects and their offspring. Relate the tree's life cycle to your own life. Just as the tree sheds its leaves for winter, what must you let go of so you may bloom in the spring? If needed, journal as you reflect to help you get everything out. Below are some potential journal prompts to guide you in your reflection:

• What am I holding onto because I fear what might happen without it?
• What is the difference between something ending and something failing?
• What have I outgrown, and what support do I need as I change?
• Where am I being asked to release something that I am not actually ready to release?
• What can I return to the earth?

Once you have a good idea of what you wish to release or let go of, pick 1-3 expectations, habits, behaviors, or emotions to focus on. Be sure to choose something specific you can realistically release or change, and don't try to force yourself to let go of grief or necessary needs. You also don't want to pick too many things and overwhelm yourself, so try your best not to exceed 3 things.

Write each of the things you are letting go of on the leaves or pieces of paper. Stack the leaves or paper and place the obsidian on top. Hold your hand over top and say, "I cut the cord between me and [name of what you are releasing]." Next, place the aquamarine on the stack. Hold your hand over top and say, "I am calm and fearless during this transition. I know how to move forward in strength." Finally, place the rose quartz on the stack, hold your hand over it, and say, "I love the person I was, the person I am, and the person I am becoming." 

With all three crystals on the stack and your hands still hovering, visualize yourself letting go of everything you have written down. Feel fear, apprehension, and insecurities leave with each exhale, and love replace them with each inhale. Visualize your future free from what no longer serves you.

When ready, remove the crystals from the stack of leaves/paper and release them in one of the following ways:

• burn it
• rip it up and bury it at a crossroads
• toss into a running river or stream

No matter what method you choose, as you let go of each leaf/paper, say, "What has changed, I allow myself to acknowledge. What I can release, I release with care. What I must continue to carry, I will carry with support."

Be sure to snuff out the candle at the end of the ritual.

Warnings/Modifications/Alternatives:

• Do not leave a lit candle unattended, and always have water or another fire extinguisher nearby.
• Altering your breathing can cause a reduction in blood pressure, which can cause you to pass out. It can also trigger seizures in some people and PTSD in others. If you are worried about passing out, begin this exercise by lying down. I also suggest practicing with a friend to ensure your safety.
• Obsidian can be replaced with black tourmaline or onyx; rose quartz can be replaced with rhodonite; aquamarine can be replaced with black or blue kyanite, amazonite, or moss agate.
• If you cannot dispose of the spell remains per one of the suggested methods, throwing the leaves/paper in the trash after ripping them up will also work. Be sure to remove the trash promptly from your home.
• When visualizing, remember you do not need to see a physical image in your head. You can focus on the physical feeling of your goal, such as a warmth in your chest, a lightness in your body, or strength in your legs.
• Additionally, the leaves you collect can come from a tree that corresponds with death, rebirth, and cycles, such as hawthorn, weeping willow, or silver birch.
  
  

Why You Did It

Understanding the whys of a spell (or ritual or recipe) is just as important as performing it. It helps you understand the process so you can modify the spell or ritual to suit your needs, and it helps guide you in writing your own. It's my intention to provide these explanations so that you can build a better understanding of how spells are written and executed, so you can modify and build your own spells (the goal of my Spellcrafting Series).

First, this spell is best performed during the waning or dark moon, which is associated with release, cord cutting, breaking habits, banishment, and shadow work, which are the main focus of this spell.

Next, box breathing was used to help you ground and center, while placing you firmly in the moment to engage in reflection and release. Centering helps to pull your energy into yourself, allowing you to release portions of it when needed, which occurs later in the ritual with the burning, ripping, or tossing of your written intentions. This is coupled with an optional journaling exercise to also help focus your intention. Self-reflection is imperative to ensuring you are releasing what you should be, instead of something you need or require.

A black, white, or blue candle could be used in this ritual to enhance your spell work. Black is associated with banishing bad habits, cutting ties, clearing heavy emotions, and ending cycles/break patterns. White, on the other hand, is associated with purification, clearing spaces, and resetting your energy after release. Blue is associated with emotional healing, forgiveness, and peace/calm, allowing you to move forward after a difficult transition. If you decide/decided to use a candle during this ritual, try to align it as best you can with what you are releasing. Personally, I used a blue candle because what I chose to release were emotions that were no longer serving me, and blue is the color of emotion.

Your intentions were written on a leaf or piece of paper to declare your intention with the Universe and yourself. A leaf or piece of paper was chosen because they are biodegradable. As they decay or burn, the thing you are releasing will decay or burn with it. Fallen autumn leaves are also associated with release, death, and the end of a cycle, assisting you in breaking a cycle or pattern in your own life. These intentions are finally released at the end of the ritual using burning, ripping and burying, or throwing into a river.

Fire is associated with transformation and cleansing. By burning what you wish to release, you are purifying residual energy and dissolving negative attachments. Burning is commonly used in banishing work because of this. 

Ripping, like burning, is also used to release residual energy and cut the cord, so to speak. This is followed by burying at a crossroads so the intention can decay and the transition or release will occur more slowly. Abrupt transitions, like burning, can sometimes be startling if you are not quite ready to release everything. Sometimes people report feeling pain, discomfort, or even an emptiness if they release too much too quickly. A slow decay can prevent this. A crossroads is chosen because it is a liminal space, one associated with transitions and release.

Throwing or releasing into a river, while also associated with letting go and banishment, is also associated with emotional healing. This is ideal for letting go of emotions such as grief and anxiety. It is faster than burying but slower than burning. Running water helps wash away the negative emotions, leaving you feeling soothed and renewed.

Finally, obsidian, aquamarine, and rose quartz were used to strengthen your intention and support you moving forward. Black obsidian encourages deep shadow work and helps cut emotional cords to the past; aquamarine relieves fears and smooths the transition into a new chapter; and rose quartz promotes self-love and self-forgiveness.

Want to break this spell? To reverse this ritual, perform a reclaiming ritual that draws the energy back to you. Light a white, light pink, or green candle. Visualize your intention and chant, "What I released, I now welcome back. I open my heart and mind to reconnect with [name of what you released]. The cord is mended, and I choose to hold on once more." Follow this ritual up with an offering and a heavy meal to ground you in the present.

Remember to record this ritual in your Book of Shadows or use my Spell/Ritual Worksheet for reference later.

***

Taking care of yourself is important, especially as we move into the holiday season. I know this can be a tough time for many people, and while we traditionally associate this time of year with abundance and prosperity, it is also a time of release. The earth's great exhale before rest. Whatever you choose to release, I hope that you move forward feeling lighter and more grounded, ready to take on the coming changes. 

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The Witch’s Slow Month: Rituals for Rest, Not Resolutions

January arrives each year with heavy expectations. Slogans of "New Year, New Me" abound, gyms decrease their membership rates, and stores line their shelves with every gadget and quick fix they can to sell you on the idea that you need to "fix" yourself. In our current society, resolutions are framed as moral obligations, and rest is treated as laziness, as a failure. While I do not have any qualms with setting resolutions and goals at the beginning of the year, winter is not rhythmically the best time to start implementing those changes.

As mentioned in my recent post, What is Yule?, the Nordic people often partook in oath-swearing during Yule festivities. As Yule historically occurred sometime in January, it is not a far-fetched idea to set resolutions during January. However, those oaths took time to achieve, and often people did not start tackling those goals until spring, when the earth reawakens. The remainder of winter was instead spent reflecting and planning for the future, which is exactly what I propose you do too.

Witchcraft is rooted in cycles, whether you follow the neopagan Wheel of the Year or not. Seeds do not sprout because the calendar turns, but instead lie dormant, gathering their strength for when conditions are right. As such, winter is not a prelude to magic; it is magic, just quieter, like the seeds lying dormant under the snow and frost. After the holiday rush, January invites us to relish in the stillness, the deep inhale of the new year. So instead of asking what you need to change, ask yourself: What needs rest, not repair? What is asking to be held instead of changed?

Today, I offer three rituals for the stillness of January that are meant to soothe the nervous system, deepen your intuition, and align you with winter's natural pace. This is accompanied by some journal prompts and shadow work to release yourself from the cult of productivity. These rituals pair well with my recent posts The Silence Between Seasons: How to Embrace Stillness as a Magical Act Through Tea, Meditation, and Journaling, Runes for the Dark Season: Guidance from Isa, Hagalaz, and Nauthiz, and Still Water Mirror Spell for Reflection.

No-Intention Candle Spell: Releasing the Need to Decide

The purpose of this simple candle spell is to rest without directing energy toward a specific purpose. Instead, it is meant to help you relax and release the need to decide on your goals right now, helping to free you from the burden of choice, at least for now.

Ingredients:

White candle

Instructions:

In a quiet, dimly lit space where you will not be disturbed, light your candle without naming any goals or intentions. Sit comfortably, watching the flame flicker. As you do so, take several slow, deep breaths in through your nose, feeling the tension in your body leaving with each exhale out of your mouth. When thoughts arise, acknowledge them without following them, allowing your mind to calm as well as your body. Continue focusing on the flame and breathing deeply until you feel completely relaxed. When you are ready, extinguish the candle and say, "Not everything must be decided today."

Resting Bowl: Calling in Deep Rest

Despite what our society says, rest is a sacred act. This simple spell helps remind you of this and invites stillness and deep relaxation into your space.

Ingredients:

Small bowl

Water, preferably melted snow or ice

Amethyst or other calming crystal or symbol

Instructions:

Place the bowl near your bed or another place you desire to bring rest. Fill partially with water while saying, "I wash away my desire to always be productive." Holding the amethyst or other calming crystal/symbol in your hands, close your eyes and say, "I invite stillness and rest into my home." Breathe your intention into the amethyst by blowing on it. Place the amethyst in the bowl of water. Each night before bed (or as needed), touch the water and say, "Rest if sacred." Refresh the water weekly.

Warming Charm for Gentle Protection

This simple charm turns mundane objects into magical allies that help protect your energy on low-capacity days. Be sure to pick an item that is both warming, comforting, and easily accessible, such as a scarf, sweater, or blanket.

Once you have chosen your object, hold it close to your heart and say, "What little I have is enough." Visualize the object filling with comforting warmth that draws away your stress, fears, and discomforts. Wear or use whenever you rest or when the world feels too demanding.

Journal Prompts and Shadow Work for January

Journaling is a great way to reflect, especially during the quiet months like January. Through reflection, we can target areas that need attention, break old habits, and let go of things that no longer serve us so we may continue to work towards being our best selves. Below are ten journal prompts to help you reflect on stillness, rest, and quiet.

1. What am I tired of pretending I want?
2. What part of me has been asking for rest the longest?
3. What feels alive even in stillness?
4. If I stopped striving, what might finally speak?
5. What am I allowed to delay right now?
6. Who am I when I am not producing?
7. What do I fear will happen if I stop striving?
8. Who taught me that rest must be earned?
9. What parts of me believe slowness is dangerous?
10. If I didn't have to work to survive, what would I do with my life?

While answering these questions, explore your value without accomplishments, magic without visible results, and your identity without momentum. Who are you when everything is stripped bare?

Taking a break is not a waste of time; it is gestation. What rests inevitably gathers strength in the quiet, allowing us to discern and act when the time is right. You do not need a new self; you need a rested one. So this January, I hope you will let go of the desire to rush forward and instead embrace the magic of rest and stillness.

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Still Water Mirror Spell For Reflection

Last week, I discussed how to embrace stillness and silence in your practice through tea, meditation, and shadow work journaling. In a world that tells us to be constantly loud and moving, it is a spiritual act of resistance to do the opposite. Winter reminds us to take time to rest and rejuvenate. During this time, the darkness reflects the shadow we harbor inside ourselves, making it the perfect time for reflection. Today's spell builds upon embracing stillness as a magical act through the use of a "mirror" to help you find calm, clarity, and connection to the unseen.

What You'll Need

• Small bowl of water
• White or black candle
• Match or lighter
• Pinch of salt
• Isa, Laguz, and Perthro runes

What to Do

This spell is best performed on Sunday or during the new or dark moon. Begin by cleansing your tools and work space using your preferred methods. Follow this with grounding and centering and inviting any of your spiritual guides to join you.

Place the bowl of water in the center of your workspace with the candle behind it so that the flame will reflect on the water's surface. Place the runes to the right, left, and in front of the water bowl.

Light your candle and sit in the quiet, dimly lit space. Breathe deeply until your body softens. Take time to relax and feel the tension leave your body. 

When ready, sprinkle the salt into the bowl of water and stir clockwise three times, saying: “As this water stills, so shall my mind. In the silent stillness, wisdom I find.” 

Gaze into the surface of the water, watching the flame flicker in the surface's reflection. Don’t force any visions. Instead, let your awareness expand outward and inward at once, opening your mind to the mysteries and fates. If your mind begins to drift, gently return to your breath and refocus on the water's surface.

Continue breathing deeply, allowing messages to flow freely through you as you watch the flame flicker across the water's calm surface. End when you feel full, calm, gently altered, and when the messages stop.

If needed, snuff out the candle and dispose of the water outdoors as an offering to the spirits.

Warnings/Modifications/Alternatives:

• Altering your breathing can cause a reduction in blood pressure, which can cause you to pass out. It can also trigger seizures in some people and PTSD in others. If you are worried about passing out, begin this exercise by lying down. I also suggest practicing with a friend to ensure your safety.
• The water's surface acts as a mirror in which messages can be received, much like a crystal ball. Generally, these messages are visual symbols, pictures, and images, but they can also be feelings, smells, sounds, or a sense of knowing. Trust in your intuition to guide you.
• If you are unable to light candles, consider a faux candle that flickers as a substitute.
• Do not leave a lit candle unattended, and always have water or another fire extinguisher nearby.
• If you do not have runes and prefer to use tarot, The Hermit, Four of Swords, and the High Priestess represent introspection, needed rest, and inner wisdom, similar to that of the runes I chose for this spell. 
  
  

Why You Did It

Understanding the whys of a spell (or ritual or recipe) is just as important as performing it. It helps you understand the process so you can modify the spell or ritual to suit your needs, and it helps guide you in writing your own. It's my intention to provide these explanations so that you can build a better understanding of how spells are written and executed, so you can modify and build your own spells (the goal of my Spellcrafting Series).

Because this spell is designed for stillness and reflection, Sunday or the new/dark moon is best because they too are associated with stillness and reflection. Sunday is often viewed as a day of rest and relaxation, making it the perfect time to invite quiet stillness into your life and practice. The new and dark moon have similar correspondences, although I much prefer the use of the dark moon over the new moon. The dark moon is the complete absence of the moon, the ultimate symbol of rest and reflection. The new moon, however, is more aligned with new beginnings, but is still a great time to set goals for the future and garner insight from beyond.

A bowl of water with a pinch of salt is used during this spell to act as a sort of scrying mirror, helping to open your mind to the messages from the beyond. Water is also associated with calm, healing, silence, and emotions, while the salt helps to purify and remove any blockages that may be preventing you from achieving stillness. The salt was stirred into the water clockwise to invite or draw messages toward you, as well as manifesting your intention of receiving visions.

The black or white candle was lit to connect you and your intention to the Otherworld. Furthermore, the flame was viewed as a reflection in the water's surface. This was done to help quiet your mind and help entice visions from the Otherworld to rise to the surface. Watching the flickering flame helps reduce your heart rate, relax your muscles, and induce an altered state of consciousness, opening you to embracing quiet stillness in your life and to the messages the spirits wish to share with you. White or black is chosen here for their connection to shadow work (black) or stillness (white; think snow).

Isa, Laguz, and Perthro runes were used to strengthen your intention and invite the desired outcome. Isa represents ice and therefore corresponds to stillness, quiet, and reflection. Laguz, however, is the rune of water and represents flow, intuition, emotion, and the subconscious. Perthro is the rune of mystery and the unknown, connected to fate and the divine. Each of these runes invites us to be still and open ourselves up to the will of the fates.

Finally, the water was disposed of outside with gratitude as an offering to the spirits who aided in your spell, whether through guidance or messages. 

Want to break this spell? Because the nature of the spell is to receive insight and guidance, there isn't a way to break it.

Remember to record this spell in your Book of Shadows or use my Spell/Ritual Worksheet for reference later.

***

After everything that has happened in the past year, I find myself turning toward this time of year wanting to learn more about myself and the lessons I have been dealt. Between the election results a year ago, the loss of someone very close to me, a health diagnosis, and a marriage, things have been far from "settled." While there have been plenty of wonderful things that have happened over the last year, there have also been some trials that have tested me. Having spells and rituals centered around peace, reflection, and healing has certainly helped me process everything that has occurred, leaving me well and able to plan for the future. I hope they offer you the same solace.

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